August wrote on 20th March 2020, 06:14 PM:

So you lied to everyone about your gender just bc you were young? I’m pretty sure 11-12 year olds know what gender they are

This dude really is out here editing his original reply tho.

**NO HATE, NO HATE THO!**

-- but also, I knew my gender back then. I knew who I was, what I was doing, you name it. Some of what I did though was not well-thought-out and I totally understand that. However, at that time I just didn't fully understand the significance of it. I do now though, and I do regret doing what I did. I don't regret living out here as an alias, Sadie... because of it, I was able to witness and experience things I don't regret. I do often wonder where I would be if I simply joined as who I am, but I don't know. I can't control the past, I just can't do that.

Amanda, thank you. Before I go off on a ramble, which for me, is indeed typical. I would like to say that I am genuinely shocked to see you write such a lengthy discussion here. That is totally unlike you, so to be completely honest with you, it means a lot to me.

I have to be honest here, you have taken what some people would consider a "grim story" and made it into something far from grim. Getting to know you I have been thrilled, to say the least. Since day one I knew that I would have a friendship unlike any that I had before. Our long conversations through text & call taught me the value of friendship. Acceptance, understanding, and sympathy are an understatement when I attempt to describe you and this friendship.

It has been a pleasure getting to know you as a person outside of here. I will never forget the countless hours spent on Minecraft especially. The houses we built on servers, the mods we used, even to playing on Hypixel and the DSGHQ server too... all of it, all so dear to me. Thank you for allowing me to have an outlet to rant about everything.

Also, I would like to point out to everyone that at one point in time Amanda here was the only person who knew my secret. Therefore, I would honestly take all of my frustration out on her sometimes. I had no one else to actually rant to, especially during a Penguin Watch leak - those things sent me! So I appreciate you for understanding me even during any of my "ranting episodes", and there were quite a few of those over the years.

I don't think this friendship will ever just stay connected back to here, or on here. I am almost certain that our friendship will continue to prosper, especially in the real world. I look forward to the memories ahead, and the journey we face together. Thank you for always being there for me, and thank you for being the first person to accept me for who I really am, and thank you for keeping my secret for this long... you're a real one.

I’m glad I made an eventful entrance in your day, means a lot to me.

Regardless, your day sounds too relatable, lol.

August wrote on 20th March 2020, 06:14 PM:

Quote:

Sleddy wrote on 20th March 2020, 05:47 PM:
Quote:
Hashir wrote on 20th March 2020, 05:27 PM:
This is despicable. I don't know why everyone's supporting it like you cured cancer. You've catfished people for 7 years, call it as it is.

it's funny when people say catfish. catfishing is luring people into a relationship by pretending to be something that they're not. this is not the case here. this is someone who was just going by a different identity online (not dating) which by all means isn't even a bad thing. online personas are always a lie, usernames are not our real names. you can't expect everything online to be the truth or else you are just being very vulnerable.
ok but they admitted that they catfished

Read the discussion.

Hashir wrote on 20th March 2020, 05:49 PM:

Quote:

Sleddy wrote on 20th March 2020, 05:47 PM:
Quote:
Hashir wrote on 20th March 2020, 05:27 PM:
This is despicable. I don't know why everyone's supporting it like you cured cancer. You've catfished people for 7 years, call it as it is.

it's funny when people say catfish. catfishing is luring people into a relationship by pretending to be something that they're not. this is not the case here. this is someone who was just going by a different identity online (not even dating) which by all means isn't even a bad thing. online personas are always a lie, usernames are not our real names. you can't expect everything online to be the truth or else you are just being very vulnerable.
What about all the people she dated as a female? By your definition, is that not what catfishing is?

Again, I'd like to add that I've personally confronted some of these people - the ones who are currently active. Things are fine between me and them. And for those who aren't on here anymore, if they ever come back ill definitely chat with them.

The last time I "dated" someone on here would probably be in like 2014ish? Maybe... I was a child. At the time, what I was doing seemed completely normal. I saw no real issue. Obviously I see an issue now. I do regret what I did, to certain extents. But honestly nothing can change what I did in the past. I can only pave the future. I'm not here to force people to accept me, or anything that I did throughout my time here - but I do expect for people to at least remain civil. Opinions don't bother me none, criticism doesn't either. Just keep it clean, that's all I ask.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Hashir.

Hashir wrote on 20th March 2020, 05:27 PM:

This is despicable. I don't know why everyone's supporting it like you cured cancer. You've catfished people for 7 years, call it as it is.

Ye, I literally said that in the discussion. So like, uhm, ye. I apologized to those who I may have caused an inconvenience to. Fortunately, during this time I'll be noticing who actually understands people, and who here really are my friends.

BeanOffical wrote on 20th March 2020, 05:38 PM:

wait so are you gay?

No, not at all.

hamilhelp wrote on 20th March 2020, 03:26 PM:

hi scott!!
u r such an enjoyable and amazing and super cool person and I'm very proud of u bc I wouldn't ever be able to announce something like that
you are such a wonderful person and im just really happy for u !!!
sorry im very blech right now I hope you have a lovely day u amazing person

Hello!
Thank you so much, and thank you for ALWAYS being such a bright personality within this community... you're amazing!

G'evening DSGHQ,

This discussion will be Part [2] of my original discussion, "Always and Forever", which was the discussion I used to formally resign from OldCP, stepping down as Senior Captain. Before I begin to write this discussion, I would like to say this first. I have carried this around with me for eight years. However, during this time a select few have been able to know the truth, and those people are the people I would like to thank tremendously, I would like to thank them for their continuous love & support, I will cherish these people forever.


As many of you know by now, I joined OldCP back in 2013 under the username "sarabareille". Since then I have risen the virtual food-chain of OldCP and the DSGHQ community. I have obtained nearly every single rank imaginable, and for that, I am very thankful. I would not trade any of the countless memories, stories, laughs, or tears for anything in the world. This community is the place where I grew up the most, it is the place where I met my best friend, and it will be the place where I finally come clean and tell the truth.

I have been holding onto a very serious lie for quite some time. At times, this lie became too heavy to carry around with me. However, as days went on I continued to become more popular - I began to make connections with people, and people began to trust me on levels I never knew were possible online. I cared so much about the relationships I was lucky enough to create with people on here. And it has been a true pleasure to be able to communicate with people, help people in their darkest times, and allow people to grow into places perhaps they did not know was possible for them. This is exactly what allowed and inspired me to continue to live this lie, even though I knew it was wrong of me, but I simply could not process the idea of letting anyone know the truth.

My closest friend on this community is someone I know as Amanda, all of you likely know her as Avax, Tobuscus, or recently Nepeta. This particular person was the first person I opened up to, and she was the first person to listen to me, understand me completely, and accept me for who I am. Those 3 attributes are the reason this person is my best friend, a person I couldn't imagine living without. The respect I have for Amanda (Nepeta) is astronomical. I will forever be grateful for her, and what she has been able to do for me - which was to provide clarity to something I thought I never would find clarity for, so for that, I thank you, Amanda - you are and always will be the best thing that has ever happened to me in this community, I sincerely love you platonically.

Since the day I told Amanda, back in late 2013 - early 2014, I never felt more refreshed. However, it wasn't enough. I was still holding onto this burden, and it was weighing me down. As time went on I was able to tell more people, each of these people accepted me. Just yesterday and even earlier today, I told [2] other people, both of which I will forever be thankful for. Before I express what I have been lying about, I would like to recognize the people who have known my secret and accepted it, these are the people I will never forget, these are my closest friends.

• Amanda
• Perla
• Kara
• TeamMaybe
• Pablo
• Malorie
• Macy
• Bailey
• Sled
• Abushekaus

Every single one of those individuals above accepted me for who I am. Every single time I finally decided to tell one of them, I would become so anxious. As I write this discussion, I too, am anxious. I feel a pit in my stomach, and today will be the day where I no longer have to worry about this pit, a pit I carried for eight years. To all of those names listed above, you're all truly amazing people. Some of the best on OldCP and the DSGHQ. I will always cherish our memories and friendship, and never forget how each of you responded to the news. Thank you all so much.

Ok, everyone here is the moment you all have been waiting for... the TRUTH about who I am, and it with genuine emotion and thought that I tell of you this lie that I have been carrying with me for such a long time. I have been lying since 2013 about who I truly am. The person all of you know as Sadie, simply is not real, but there is someone who is, Scott. I joined OldCP under an alias of sarabareille (later on Sadie) as stated above, at the time, I was tremendously young and my thought process just wasn't fully functional. Or very little was there.

As time went on, I earned positions I never thought I would. I became popular, well-known, and loved by so many amazing users. I was addicted to this, but at the same time, I hated myself. I hated the lie I was living, and I felt tremendous guilt. I personally never thought that "men" were allowed to care, cry, or show emotion - I was very indoctrinated at a young age. Therefore, I knew I was too deep into my lie. I couldn't go back, and at the time I simply could not admit to it. I had to live with it and make the best of it.

As I continued to live my life on OldCP, I created a persona around the account, Sadie. Although much of what "Sadie" is, it is genuine besides a few aspects. I'll describe that later on in this discussion. An abundance of rumors surfaced stating that I wasn't real, I was fake, and I was living my life online as a catfish. These rumors, at the time, ruined me. At such a young age, I would cry about everything being said. I knew most of these rumors were truthful, but I just couldn't come to terms. I couldn't accept it. Time continued to move forward, and people simmered down thankfully. This is around the time I told Amanda who I was. Since then, a few "rumors" continued to linger, even now. But as of now, I would like to say that some of these rumors are true.

I would like to say this though, although I am not technically Sadie - everything I did, act upon and fought for remained true. The way I talk, act, and care for people are really who I am. I love to communicate with people, help people, and watch them prosper. Sadly, I was never fully able to act the way I dreamt. There were times where people would come to me with genuine problems, and share everything with me. These people were hurt, they were suffering, and it killed me mentally, emotionally, and sometimes even physically that I couldn't help these people the way I wanted to. I wanted to call them, and I wanted to express my sympathy. I always tried my best to express my emotions through my writing - and hopefully, if you ever came to me for help, I hope that our conversation helped you in some fashion. I hope you can still trust me, and still come to me when you need help...

I would like to apologize to anyone that I may have "dated" during my early years on OldCP. I apologize for what I did, and as I matured into an adult I realized that what I was doing was not good. I regret any relationship I have had on here with someone. People like Mr. Lion, Harrison (Tennis), Abushekaus, and Bailey too. What I did was simply horrible, to say the least. I do not urge anyone to "catfish". I have come clean to some of you, and again, I apologize for any inconvenience I may have caused you. I was young, immature, and simply doing things for the sake of the storyline essentially. I hope you can understand.

For the people who look up to me, I would like to apologize to you. There have been countless people who have trusted me with personal information, the information I have and will always keep between us and only us. I respect your privacy and everything in between. I hope many of you can still accept me, and please, do not hesitate to come to me for help. I do care, and I do want to help people who need it. If you want to talk now, one more genuine level, please feel free to contact me. I would love to be able to communicate with all of you, 1 on 1, something I was not able to do for a very long time, until now.

I want to come to clean terms, completely, I want this all out in the open. Here is everything I have lied about...

• My Gender
• My Name...
• My age, I'm 19 and not 20.

Everything else is an accurate representation of who I am. I'm not a mean person, a distasteful person, or someone who is doing this because I have to. I have respect for every single one of you, and I admire the diversity within the community as I stated in Part [1] of this 2-part discussion. Everything I have said is nearly 100% accurate. If you ever came to me with a question, comment, or in need of assistance what you received was real. Please do not ever think that what I told you was all a lie or some alternate persona I created... that's simply not true.

I would like to personally apologize to Damen. Damen, thank you for giving me opportunities to thrive. I appreciate all of the things you have given to me, most importantly, I appreciate your feedback and logical point-of-view on any issue I came to you about. I get it, I was a bit annoying at times; but it was because I just wanted to see things get addressed and taken care of. I apologize for not being honest with you. I hope you can understand where I'm coming from, and take this as it is. I respect you and everything you have done for this community. You have brought all of these amazing people together, in one place, and for that you deserve recognition. It has been a pleasure to be staff on your server(s), and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I apologize that I couldn't find the words a long time ago, to be honest. I mean well, and I always have, sometime we should perhaps voice call? I would love to have a genuine conversation with you if you're up for it.

This discussion is becoming quite long, I really have so much to say to all of you... but little time, and I know some of you will not even read this discussion, and again, that's fine. I understand. Whatever the case is, I hope this discussion allows all of you to gain something from it... maybe it will be motivation to be an honest person yourself, or something... I really just want the best for all of you. I sincerely mean that from the bottom of my heart.

-- I plan that this discussion is going to cause an uproar of emotions. I understand that some of you will dislike me, hate me, unfriend me, block me, and so forth. That's okay, I respect your thoughts and wishes. And I respect the way you decipher the information, and most importantly, what you believe in. I can not control you or how you regulate your emotions, all I can be is 100% honest with all of you, and alas' I am doing just that. I have thought about this day for such a long time, it was a day I never actually planned on taking up... but in a sense, I feel like this will allow me to grow as a person, and I hope some of you desire to reconnect, not as Sadie, but now as who I really am... Scott. If not, that's fine and I respect that. You're all amazing, and whatever you decide to do I will forever and always honor your requests.

Lastly, I will be online for quite a while after this. I will be changing my username(s) later today once the news spreads. I will become who I really am, and who I was meant to be on here. I ask for my username on OldCP to be changed to "Scott" if possible... I would like to continue my journey, and possibly final days and/or weeks as the person I sought out to be...

If you have any questions, comments, and or concerns please do not hesitate to contact me. If you want to call me, please feel free. Just message me on Discord. If you want to add me on social media (officially, and realistically) let me know, I'm open to that idea. If you want to send Snapchat streaks to me, I'm cool with that too. Regardless, I just want to be accepted. This isn't easy for me, and I might honestly collapse after posting this, that would be ironic... huh? Again, I would like to thank all of you for allowing me to grow in this community. For all the friends, memories, laughs, and tears that were made throughout these years, thank you. I love all of you so very much, thank you for allowing me to feel comfortable enough to post this, finally... Again, reconnect with me if you desire to. I'm here for all of you, now hopefully in a more genuine and completely honest form. I would lastly like to thank Sled, Sled you really inspired me I'm not going to lie. You're an amazing person, thank you for allowing me to open my eyes, and address what I've always wanted to.




Always and forever,
"Sadie"
... or as you may now call me ...
Scott.

jemi1234 wrote on 20th March 2020, 10:00 AM:

once a brother, always a brother

Awesome pictures, thank you so much!

Toberia wrote on 20th March 2020, 07:49 AM:

How are you today?

Hey there, I'm doing good - thank you for asking. I'm going to flip the question on you now, how are you doing today?

G'evening DSGHQ,

Today I will be writing a discussion I never planned on writing, and unfortunately, the time has come for me to move on from OldCP. I Sadie officially resign from my rank as Senior Captain of the Penguin Watch. I am officially moving on from OldCP, and it has been a genuine journey, to say the least, a journey I am proud of.


Since the day I joined OldCP, I have been honored to earn and accept a variety of ranks. Growing up on OldCP taught me a lot, and to be completely honest it turned me into someone I never thought I would become. Yes, I do believe OldCP in a sense transformed my life, in a good way. I have been on OldCP for eight years, that's crazy! This community has taken up a great portion of my life, my upbringing, you name it. I do not regret joining this community, but I will be discouraged to leave.

The Penguin Watch was established on March 11th, 2014. I can easily recall this day, it was a day I realized my love for the rank. The rank inspired me, although at the time the Penguin Watch really wasn't like it is today. Since that initial adrenaline rush, I have received the privilege to lead the Penguin Watch. Although at the time of my promotion to Captain, it was technically a "demotion" - it turned into something I could have never envisioned. As the years went on I began to take control of the Penguin Watch, and to be completely honest it became my life on OldCP. The day Damen offered me Senior Captain was a day I will never forget, I accepted that offer willingly and probably faster than any rank before that. I took the rank and constructed it the way I desired. I wanted to create a judgment-free zone on OldCP, and the Penguin Watch took on that idea.

Re-constructing the Penguin Watch was honestly the best thing I ever did on OldCP. Promoting people was a fabulous feeling, but to be completely honest with all of you - watching people grow and prosper was better. I loved to watch people start as a Penguin Watch, earn Captain, and then eventually earn Moderator or another high rank on OldCP. This was like a drug to me, and it was addicting. Although I am thankful to have been able to experience a variety of ranks, no rank matched the satisfaction of being Senior Captain. I am beyond thankful for every single Penguin Watch & Captain, each time we gained a new member it was always a good feeling. The Penguin Watch became more than just a rank, it was a family and it still is. We'll get back to the Penguin Watch again soon...

Before I continue to discuss the Penguin Watch and the future plans, I would like to summarise my time here on OldCP. Upon joining OldCP I obtained Moderator relatively fast. I was first recommended by a staff member (at that time) named Tornado. Since then I've continuously stayed on the staff team, therefore, I would like to give a major thank you to Tornado. Not going to lie, I ran into some ridiculous problems sometimes for myself - I wasn't always "good". I've learned a lot by being here, I learned a lot about diversity and respecting people based on their differences. I couldn't imagine where I would be without joining OldCP, in a sense, this is the place that made me who I am today as I have said plenty of times before.

I have had a joy contributing to the following ranks: Moderator, Penguin Watch/Captain/Senior Captain, Detective, War Knight, Imperial Knight, Banker, President, Administrator, etc... Each rank has allowed me to have insight into how diverse OldCP really is. You have people who absolutely love the Crime Zone and people who absolutely love to moderate the community. The diversity amazes me in so many ways. I find it so fascinating how many people come on here. We have artists, writers, musicians, you name it - all in one single community. This community and OldCP has been special to me for years. Essentially I grew up here, I've matured. When I joined I was roughly 12 or 13 years old... I'm now an adult! But like all things overtime they simply become dated.

Damen once told me the following quote back when I was contemplating quitting, it really stuck with me... "when you no longer love the game, then it is time to leave". Year after year I didn't leave although I contemplated it, over and over I stayed. Finally, it hit me. That exact quote hit me. I continuously told myself that the users were the people who inspired me to stay, and it is very much true and still is. All of you are extremely amazing people, and I cherish all of the memories and conversations I have had with all of you. Sadly, I now realize something. I love the users, not the game. Although there will always be a spot for OldCP in my heart, I just don't love it the way I use to. So alas' Damen's quote finally makes sense to me in the way it was intended to.

Honestly, this discussion will likely ramble on a lot, and to be blunt it will likely have little structure or organization. As I write this discussion, it simply comes from the heart. It is what I feel current. I would like to thank the people that have helped me along the way too. People like Sunwolf, IceeSofie, Tornado, Damen, and so many more - these are the people who helped me right when I joined (and a little afterward), and I appreciate that so much. Sunwolf was the first Moderator who helped me. I recall the reason I went to her, I didn't know how to wear [2] head items! She explained it to me, and we became good friends afterward. That is one of the many memories I will continue to hold on to.

Throughout my time on OldCP have made some amazing friends, friends I am genuinely close with and trust more than anything. These are the people I have been able to be 100% myself around, and these are the people who I will always trust, respect, and love too. The following individuals are those who impacted me on a level outside of here...

• Amanda (Nepeta): Honestly, Amanda was my first best friend on here. Since the day we began talking on a day-to-day basis I knew instantly that she was literally my "platonic soulmate". Amanda is funny, smart, and the best friend I could have ever asked for. If I were to create a best friend for myself, she would be exactly what I would create. Although we don't always get along, I can always count on being myself around her. I genuinely believe that she is amazing. She's got my back, and I got her back too. Amanda, thank you so much for being my closest friend here. I respect all that you have done for me, thank you.
• Perla: Perla is another amazing friend. She was always so caring, understanding, and had a very nurturing attitude. I appreciate everything she has done for me, and I believe she's definitely going very far in life. Thank you, Perla, for everything.
• Kara: Kara, man, I can relate to her on so many levels. Kara is probably the most creative person I've ever met. She's also very hard-working, and her work deserves recognition. Kara is a very driven person, and I respect that about her. Whenever I needed something made she would always design it the way I envisioned it. Kara's amazing.
• TeamMaybe: Man, where do I even begin? This person... is probably the most interesting person I have ever met on here. She is also extremely understanding, and she gives the best feedback. Whenever you're down, Ella brings you happiness. I love Ella so much, she's an amazing person inside and out! I'll never forget our long calls... they're always interesting.
• Malorie: Malorie, man... I knew Malorie for what feels like forever. I remember the day we met perfectly. She had told me something fascinating at the time, and since then we were good friends. I would go on a variety of different CPPS servers and troll around with her. I had a great deal of fun with Malorie, she's a great person. She's also eager-minded and strong.
• Pablo: Pablo, wow... the best artist hands down. Pablo is such an amazing person too. Pablo is understanding, caring, and easy-going. He is wickedly talented, and every time I see her amazing artwork I get awestruck. He is a great person and friend.
• Bailey: Although Bailey and I don't talk on the regular, I trust him a lot. Whenever I use to speak to him (or even now) our conversations are eye-opening and real. He's a very loyal person in my opinion, and also rather fun too. I'll never forget the conversation we had at /jr positive, it was a very deep conversation that really got me thinking. Thank you, Bailey
• Macy: Honestly, Macy you’re like the chillest person. You’re super understanding, and so kind. You’re a great friend! I appreciate you so much honestly, thank you!
• Sled: Sled, you’re such a down to earth person. Thank you for showing me continuous support. You have some fantastic feedback during difficult times, and I couldn’t ever thank you enough! Thanks so much, ur amazing!

All of you have impacted me in a way that is simply on a personal level. I would like to thank all of those people above for sticking with me, respecting me, and allowing me to be myself around them - as well as for understanding me.

Okay, now let us go back to information regarding the Penguin Watch. I would like to announce that the Penguin Watch, will be shutting down. I will be demoting every member of the Penguin Watch effective at the post of this discussion. I urge the administrator NOT to try to start the Penguin Watch up again. The Penguin Watch has become superannuated. After countless attempts to make it alive and relevant again, there simply is no way of doing so. OldCP gets on average (on a very good day) around 20 users. Most of these people are either ranked or were ranked before, the Penguin Watch isn't needed anymore. However, if for some reason the administration feels that it is appropriate to bring the Penguin Watch back again, please consult with me in regards to who I believe would probably be best fit for running it... again, I do not recommend it to come back though.

I don't want this discussion to get tremendously long because I feel like not many people are actually going to read it. I'm assuming I'll get a few basic responses, which is fine, but for those who actually read this discussion please write down below the following: "Sadie, I'm a real one." - this will help me notice who actually read this entirely. I will be posting a part [2] tomorrow. In part [2] I will describe something quite personal, and it will get really deep. As for now, I want to leave this off on a positive note...

All of you are amazing people, people I have grown to love and adore. I wouldn't be where I am today without all of you. Thank you for making my time on OldCP amazing... it means a lot to me. I look forward to staying around for a little bit longer, unranked. I would like to stay as DSGHQ Forum staff if possible. I like the community, and I still love the forum. Until I stop loving the forum, I won't be leaving this community. But as for OldCP, I just don't desire to continue my journey there. I'm pretty inactive, and honestly, it isn't fair for me to be ranked.

Now that the Penguin Watch is officially gone, I can finally share with everyone some of the awesome memories I have made through my time as Senior Captain!

Welcome back, you've been missed!

Your talent makes me awestruck every single time I have the privilege of seeing it, thank you!

You're an icon, Layla. You will always be an icon.

Listen, life isn't easy. I can relate with you on so many levels, so I just want to say that I totally understand. Education, work and living an optimistic life are tasks many of us are and/or will encounter in our lives. It isn't easy at all, and I have to commend you for persevering through difficult times.

In the long run, it will all be worth it, if you stick to it. We're all capable of paving beautiful pathways for ourselves, and to be honest that's pretty radical. Sled, keep your head up. Focus, focus, focus! You will get through all of this. When you feel like giving up or simply questioning that infamous question of "does this even matter?" Just know, there are people who are in the same boat. We support you and all of your endeavors. Best of luck to you, you got this!