24th December 2018
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IAPGMOOH DAY 1 - SEASON 2 - RANGER04

Made by Sled in News

the jester
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24th December 2018, 05:26 PM



G'DAY EVERYONE! CRIKEY, IT IS OFFICIALLY SEASON TWO OF I'M A PENGUIN, GET ME OUT OF HERE!!! I'M RANGER04 AND I'LL BE REPORTING YOU ON THE LATEST COVERAGE FROM INSIDE THE BUSH!
The Contestants
This season we have 15 very interesting (but also smell disgusting already) contestants! Some return to the bush, but for many it is their first time in the Australian wilderness. Your contestants are:
- Melian
- Sir Naii
- Kace
- Sugar
- Flame
- Radaghast
- Habsolo
- poosto
- Stephan
- Lush
- Lyss
- Paradise
- Yalmon
- Dragon
- Swirlie

LEAVE A COMMENT SAYING WHO YOU ARE ROOTING FOR!
The First Interview
Hello this is Ranger04 reporting from the Bush, where the campers are actually trapped inside of the camp currently due to some odd weather making it unsafe for them to travel beyond the safety of the fire. We have here one of the contestants, Lush.

Ranger04: G'DAY LUSH! HOW IS THE JUNGLE SO FAR?
Lush: It's good. Very good actually. Except...for one part

Ranger04: WHICH IS?
Lush: Well...um. Basically I thought that the treasure chest in ubarsands was my own so I ate a lot of the food LOOOOOL. Like I legit have 953 calories.

Ranger04: THAT'S A LOT OF CALORIES. YOU'RE KINDA A FAT PENGUIN (NO OFFENSE).
Lush: I will make it up to everyone. Or at least try to.

Ranger04: WHO DO YOU THINK YOUR ENEMIES ARE IN THIS CAMP?
Lush: 100 percent Dragon and only Dragon. Dragon feels like ALL of the campmates hate him. He also pulled a gun on me, Swirlie and Naii this morning.

Ranger04: JUICY STUFF. I WISH YOU LUCK CAMPER, AND I'LL SEE YOU IN THE BUSH.
Lush: thank you legend.

Ranger04: I KNOW I AM.
STARVATION
Earlier this morning there was no food whatsoever. All of the campers were suffering with negative calories, although nothing was affecting their health yet because they didn't have a low enough calorie count to start dying. Although, it was a very scary situation, and it is a situation that they will be in several times this season, especially if all does not go well at the trials.

A food drop came in around 3pm EST this afternoon which supplied the campers with enough food to make it to tonight. But if they do not do well in the trial, they could have to plan out who gets what in the future. Lush has already made the mistake of eating too much of the food, so she might have to sit one out if her fellow campers deem her worthy of doing so. Below is a picture of the treasure chest, where moments before Swirlie had eaten one of the Rice and Beans.
Pushy girl forces me to interview her
RANGER04: SO WHAT WAS SO IMPORTANT, LITTLE GIRL?
Lyss: I’M GOING TO KILL THE RANGERS. THEY ARE ALL TRYING TO EAT ME. And I’m so nice to them. I give them hugs and ask them how they are. BUT THEY WANT TO KILL ME----
RANGER04: I'M GOING TO CUT YOU OFF RIGHT THERE-
INTERVIEW WITH FLAME
RANGER05: Hows your time at camp so far?
Flame: Hi, it’s fun.
Ranger05: Nice nice. How do you feel about the whole Ranger
Flame: Uh. I mean. If it comes down to it, I’ll kill a ranger.
Ranger05: Gives you incentive to survive, huh?
Flame: Like SecurityGuard did a year ago…
Ranger05: EY! THAT ISN’T GOOD. DON’T KILL A RANGER. So how’s drama at the camp? Any fueds?
Flame: Lowkey, Miro might be an issue. I don’t know if the stream got that Miro was an issue earlier.
Ranger05: Do you feel the campersare all getting along?
Flame: Yeah. Except me and Miro...I feel. Cause he’s trying to maintain a “leader” role. It’s agitating since he isn’t captain.
Ranger05: Do you at some point want to be captain?
Flame: Certainly. Lush in fact didn’t want to be captain at last minute. So she wanted me to get it instead. But it’s okay. The camp seems very orderly right now.
Ranger05: It certainly wasn’t like that earlier today.
Flame: Well yeah…
Ranger05: Do you feel scared of a camper turning? If so who do you think it will be?
Flame: Actually yes. Miro…
Ranger05: Who do you think will be voted off tonight?
Flame: Stephan or Melian. They’re like irrelevant.
TRIAL: The Cage of Death
For the very first trial, The Cage of Death, The camper will be shown a famous quote said by someone on OldCP. If they guess who said it correctly, they earn a meal for the camp. If they guess wrongly, snakes will spawn inside the cage and the camper will have to defend themselves. The camper is unable to move around inside the cage.

A vote happened to decide who will be sent into the trial on jungle.oldcp.biz. Here are the results:

It looks like Swirlie will be heading into the trial! Unfortunately, she suffered some damage from spiders not long ago so this will be very tight. She will have to battle those CRITTERS fast!

FIRST QUOTE: “YOU’RE SO FAT RAEGON GOT JEALOUS.”
GAMER
SECOND QUOTE: “GET DABBY DON”
JULIANHAK
THIRD QUOTE: “THANKS FOR 5 YEARS. ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME.”
HASHIR
FOURTH QUOTE: “WELCOME TO THE FIRST NWO MEETING.”
SRIRAM
FIFTH: “STOP BARKING IN MY FACE ANNOYING MOD.”
DAMEN
SIXTH: “SORRY MATES, I’M AN AVID SWEATER.”
ABUSHEKAUS
SEVENTH: “RETURN THE GOLD AND APOLOGIZE OR YOU WILL DIE BY THE EMPEROR’S GUARDS.”
KOBIN
EIGHTH: “I CLEAN ALL THE KNIGHTS’ ARMOR EVERY WEEKEND.”
JESSE
NINETH: “WHY ARE YOU SAD BABE?”
HASHIR
TENTH: “I DO IT FOR MY KANGAROO FAMILY!”
SLED
ELEVENTH: “KOTN MEANS KING OF THE NOOBS?”
SRIRAM
Swirlie won six meals for the camp! She got five wrong, but I sure as hell wouldn’tknow where most of these quotes were from so I believe she did really well! UH- I MEAN- HAHAHAHAHAHA SHE THINKS SHE CAN WIN THIS THING.
SECOND CAMP CAPTAIN VOTING STARTS NOW
You can now vote for the second camp captain on http://jungle.oldcp.biz/vote. The first vote off will be TOMORROW. Make sure to decide who deserves to get voted off - I suggest someone who hasn't been online. BUT THAT'S JUST MY OPINION.

and here's the camp at day one, after the trial:

As this game show goes on, it will get MORE DRAMATIC. You heard it here first - THERE WAS ALREADY A GUN DRAWN ON SOMEONE THIS MORNING! No deaths YET. But there will be...oh yeah THERE WILL BE.

GOODNIGHT. SIGNING OFF - RANGER04

UPDATES:
RADAGHAST IS THE FIRST TO DIE ON THE ISLAND. HE WAS KILLED BY AN UNDEAD PIRATE.

Before he died, he took down Martin Sunderland with a single shot.

Here's the camp battling against the pirates!

DRAMA WITH DRAGON
Dragon was at -700 calories and decided to eat one rice and beans. Everyone saw, and it caused drama because he wasn't at -1000 calories yet. CAMP CAPTAIN LUSH decided that if Dragon eats before -1000 calories, he will get punishment.
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Graphic Designer

Two Time World Champion
News Reporter
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24th December 2018, 05:31 PM

THE KING OF THE NOOBS THING IS MINE!!! NOT SRIRAM'S!! He stole my material.
I wish to sue him for plagiarism! >:(
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the jester
Administrator
1,206 posts
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24th December 2018, 05:40 PM

Loki wrote on 24th December 2018, 05:31 PM:
THE KING OF THE NOOBS THING IS MINE!!! NOT SRIRAM'S!! He stole my material.
I wish to sue him for plagiarism!
sorry that happened to you but smh don't sleep on that like button :(
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Graphic Designer

hoolianhak
Moderator
451 posts
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24th December 2018, 06:04 PM

Great report!
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OBI-WAN: Hello, there!

GENERAL GRIEVOUS: General Kenobi, you are a bold one. I find your behavior bewildering . . . Surely you realize you're doomed, (to droids) Kill him!

Member
78 posts
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24th December 2018, 06:24 PM

this is the most legendary report ever. GOOD JOB SLED!! love u bff
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Master
2,104 posts
2,413
24th December 2018, 06:27 PM

Sled you're my favorite news reporter tbh
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princess
Master
705 posts
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24th December 2018, 07:12 PM

im deadass only here to start drama
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The next Pablo Escobar
Suspended
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24th December 2018, 08:11 PM

Loki wrote on 24th December 2018, 05:31 PM:
THE KING OF THE NOOBS THING IS MINE!!! NOT SRIRAM'S!! He stole my material.
I wish to sue him for plagiarism!
I said it stop lying to claim credit
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Master
4,971 posts
15,298
24th December 2018, 09:46 PM

Sled can I be you.. no really, there's no way you should be THAT good at reports like wow, I'm jealous.
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Two Time World Champion
News Reporter
217 posts
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25th December 2018, 02:42 AM

Sherlock120Sh wrote on 24th December 2018, 08:11 PM:
Loki wrote on 24th December 2018, 05:31 PM:
THE KING OF THE NOOBS THING IS MINE!!! NOT SRIRAM'S!! He stole my material.
I wish to sue him for plagiarism!
I said it stop lying to claim credit

I said it so many times on discord and in RCHQ forums. You legit picked it up from me.
And why would I lie about this? There's nothing really to gain from it.
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Master
927 posts
783
25th December 2018, 07:12 AM

These reports are actually so good man great job
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