The Departing of the Fellowship (Unfiltered)

The fellowship were almost ready to depart from Rivendell on their quest to destroy the one ring. Legolas, Gandalf, Frodo, Sam, Pippin, Merry, Boromir and Aragorn gathered together. The horn of Elrond blew as the elves shouted: "The fellowship departs!"

As the eight of them walked out from the Rivendell entrance, Aragorn looked back at Arwen and smiled. Then, suddenly, Elrond's horn blew again! The Elves shouted: "Wait!"

Gandalf was in the middle of saying "Left" to Frodo when he turned around in disgust.

"What is it Elrond?" he said.
"There is yet another you have forgotten, my good Gandalf." Elrond replied.

Then, Legolas suddenly realised who was missing.

"The scum... is late." he whispered to the others as his eyes stared at Gandalf.
"WHERE IS HE?" Gandalf boomed.

Meanwhile in the Rivendell toilets.
"ARGHH." Gimli growled as he curled one out. "All those elf leaves clogged up my insides."

An elf of Elrond knocked on the fancy toilet door saying: "Are you ok in there, Gimli son of Gloin?"

Opening the door at the wrong moment, he saw Gimli bending over (his shanks barely covered by his chainmail) as he tried to unblock the elf toilet.

"These toilets are tiny! How do you even use them!" Gimli shouted back at the elf. The elf fainted. Another elf came to assist. Then, smelling the putrid smell of Gimli fart, the elf fainted. The smell began to travel through Rivendell at great haste.

Meanwhile, Gimli ripped the toilet out and forced the dung through the pipes of Elrond, into the water system.

"Thats better." Gimli smiled as he put his chainmail back on. "Finally, time to depart on this perilous quest." He grabbed his axe and walked outside.

There he found all the elves fainted on the ground. Even Elrond himself was fainted. Legolas climbed over the fainted elf bodies and saw Gimli.
"You're late." he said.
"A dwarf is never late, Legolas. Nor is he early. He arrives exactly when he WANTS TO!" he cried as he did a double flip combo jump over the elves, landing behind Legolas, laughing in a dwarf manner.
Then, the putrid smell reached the nostrils of Legolas. His nose turned green as his blue eyes turned red.

The rest of the fellowship were waiting in confusion.
"Why are all the elves fainted?" Pippin asked.

Aragorn embraced the fainted Arwen Undomiel.

"Gimli, help me find the cavetroll that made this smell come to Rivendell. FELLOWSHIP UNITE!" Aragorn said.

The entire fellowship cheered as they cried: "FIND AND KILL THE CAVETROLL THAT MADE THIS SMELL!"

"Uhhh... ahem.." Gimli muttered. "Umm, guys? Quiet." he said.

The fellowship continued crying out in great enthusiasm, drawing their weapons ready for battle.

"EVERYONE! QUIET!" Gimli said. "GUYS. GUYS. YOOOO!" he cried.

The fellowship suddenly stopped cheering and listened to Gimli.

"It was no cave troll. It was me. The elven leaves clogged my insides and the toilet pipes are as wide as straw. No dwarf should have to excrement in pretty elvish toilet. AGH!"

The fellowship were completely silent. They stared.

"Fool of a scum!" Gandalf said to Gimli.

Then, Gimli's stare intensified. The birds of Rivendell flew off. The insects hid in their burrows.

"Fool of a.... scum?" Gimli said intensely.

Aragorn put his hand on his hilt. Boromir too and Legolas readied his bow. The hobbits stared around in fear.

Everyone was utterly still... waiting... waiting.




"ARRRRGHHHHH" Gimli growled as he threw unlimited axes in Gandalf's direction. Gandalf's staff deflected them as Aragorn drew his blade, Boromir also. Legolas fired an arrow at Gimli but Gimli dodged it with epic backflips.

Gandalf rolly polied over to Gimli, drawing his blade. Gimli got his double axe and deflected Gandalf's blows, kicking him in the balls as he spun.

"ACH!" Gandalf yelped as Merry and Pippin charged at Gimli. Gimli thrust his axe and smacked it right into Pippin's skull, spilling Pippin brains onto Merry who jumped onto Gimli.

Legolas fired an Arrow, hitting Pippin and he was no more. Then, Frodo put the ring on and vanished as Sam charged at Legolas. Legolas fired an arrow and it hit Gamgee right in between his eyes!

Aragorn fought Gimli for 2 hours as Legolas did double jumps all over Rivendell, firing arrows at Gimli. At last, the three huntsmen (Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas) could not best eachother in combat as Aragorn's thrusts were blocked by Gimli, Gimli deflected every arrow of Legolas. Not one of them were scratched.

Boromir sneak attacked Aragorn (because he wanted to kill the King of Gondor so he could be Captain Lord Steward!) then, as Aragorn was about to perish from Boromir's epic sneak slash, Gimli threw a mega axe at Boromir, exploding his body into the Rivendell waterfall. Boromir was no more.

Then, Aragorn realised Gimli was righteous. Then he said. "Forgive me." Gimli laughed in a dwarf way and said: "Let's hunt some Wizard."

The three of them charged after Gandalf who was busy looking for Gimli.

"NO MORE!" Legolas said. "Gimli is good now."
Gandalf scoffed. "As if I will believe that, pretty boy!" Gandalf zapped lightning at Gimli, burning his dwarf beard as Aragorn super jumped and threw his sword into Gandalf's head.

Gandalf's skull was made of rocks, so the sword bounced off and back into Aragorn and he perished!

"The prophecies have failed." Then, Gondor blew up instantly.
Then, Sauron shouted from Mordor: "HAHAHAHAH!"
Then, Gandalf and Gimli teamed up, Legolas with him and then they all flew into the air to Mordor.

Meanwhile, the dung of Gimli filled the pipes of Rivendell so much that the waterfall became green and brown. The dung water flowed so fearcely that it began to ooze into the air like lava.

To be continued...