SYRUP ON POUTINE
Member
812 posts
1,648
Seen 16th August 2021
Wizard
4th November 2014, 04:27 PM
People are too obsessed with Alex From Target. Here is a fanfiction I wrote that kinda makes fun of people like that... So sorry if you are one of those people who love Alex From Target...
I parked my car in the parking lot of Target, but I call it O-dot. I walk out of my car and into O-dot.
I go to the aisle with snacks and look around for crackers. No crackers. I see no crackers. WHERE ARE MY CRACKERZ! ?!? The whole snack aisle has so many things BUT crackers. I blame global warming.
After alot of looking around, I get very mad. My face contorts into a weird look when I get angry, and some little girl carrying a billion boxes of Dora the Explorer Gummies looks at me weird. "What?" I ask. "I just want some crackers." She turns around and runs away.
Finally, I lose patience. "WHERE ARE ALL THE CRACKERS!?!?" I scream. Then I throw a tantrum. I flail my arms around like Slender Man and I make a weird noise. I start jumping up and down until I see an employee walk up to me, and I stop.
Oh my potato.
The most beautiful, amazing, dude walks up to me with the name of Alex. I smile like an idiot. "Hey there, beautiful." I say. I can tell he is totes falling for me. I can see it in his eyes.
His eyes are wide, one of his eyebrows raised, and his mouth is all weird. "Were you the one screaming?" He asks. I nod, batting my eyes. I reach into my pocket and take my red lip gloss, applying it all over my lips and pretty much my whole face. I am so totes beautiful. All the guys will be falling for me.
He nods slowly. "So.... You want crackers?" He asks slowly. I nod. "Yesh. I wuv crackers. They are so bae." I say. He nods slowly. "Well, they are all the way down there at the end of the aisle." He points.
He walks down with me and shows me all the different types of crackers. I frown. "WHERE ARE THE CRACKER-LICIOUS CRACKERS?" I ask angrily. He raises an eyebrow. "The Cracker-licious brand has been taken off the shelves. People became obsessed with them and started getting weird symptoms." I flare my nostrils. "NUUUUU! PLEASE! GIMMIE THEM CRACKER-LICIOUS CRACKERS!" I scream. He shakes his head. "Just take the Crickitty Crackers instead." He insists. Well, fine. He is so pretty and beautiful that I can't say no. I take the crackers and follow him to the checkout. He scans my crackers.
I grab my phone and take a picture of him, focusing on his nose. What a beautiful nose. I tweet the picture of him and write "Gurl. Dis guy ish so beautiful."
He gives me my bags and I walk out, flipping my tangled hair. He is totes in love with meh.
Well here I am, one week later. I walk to O-dot to get me some more crackers and to see Alex. I am totes gonna ask him out.
Inside, I see him. SCANNING ANOTHER GIRL'S ITEMS! Nawh. Dis ain't happenin. I run up to da counter and push he girl away. "HEY! WHAT CHU DOIN?" I yell at Alex. He looks around. "Umm. Doing my job?" He says. My face contorts into the weird look again. "NO! CHU ARE CHEATING ON MEH!" I scream, throwing a box of crackers at him.
I run outta the store and drive off. Gurl, he doesn't know what he got himself into.
Uh uh.
I parked my car in the parking lot of Target, but I call it O-dot. I walk out of my car and into O-dot.
I go to the aisle with snacks and look around for crackers. No crackers. I see no crackers. WHERE ARE MY CRACKERZ! ?!? The whole snack aisle has so many things BUT crackers. I blame global warming.
After alot of looking around, I get very mad. My face contorts into a weird look when I get angry, and some little girl carrying a billion boxes of Dora the Explorer Gummies looks at me weird. "What?" I ask. "I just want some crackers." She turns around and runs away.
Finally, I lose patience. "WHERE ARE ALL THE CRACKERS!?!?" I scream. Then I throw a tantrum. I flail my arms around like Slender Man and I make a weird noise. I start jumping up and down until I see an employee walk up to me, and I stop.
Oh my potato.
The most beautiful, amazing, dude walks up to me with the name of Alex. I smile like an idiot. "Hey there, beautiful." I say. I can tell he is totes falling for me. I can see it in his eyes.
His eyes are wide, one of his eyebrows raised, and his mouth is all weird. "Were you the one screaming?" He asks. I nod, batting my eyes. I reach into my pocket and take my red lip gloss, applying it all over my lips and pretty much my whole face. I am so totes beautiful. All the guys will be falling for me.
He nods slowly. "So.... You want crackers?" He asks slowly. I nod. "Yesh. I wuv crackers. They are so bae." I say. He nods slowly. "Well, they are all the way down there at the end of the aisle." He points.
He walks down with me and shows me all the different types of crackers. I frown. "WHERE ARE THE CRACKER-LICIOUS CRACKERS?" I ask angrily. He raises an eyebrow. "The Cracker-licious brand has been taken off the shelves. People became obsessed with them and started getting weird symptoms." I flare my nostrils. "NUUUUU! PLEASE! GIMMIE THEM CRACKER-LICIOUS CRACKERS!" I scream. He shakes his head. "Just take the Crickitty Crackers instead." He insists. Well, fine. He is so pretty and beautiful that I can't say no. I take the crackers and follow him to the checkout. He scans my crackers.
I grab my phone and take a picture of him, focusing on his nose. What a beautiful nose. I tweet the picture of him and write "Gurl. Dis guy ish so beautiful."
He gives me my bags and I walk out, flipping my tangled hair. He is totes in love with meh.
One week Later
Well here I am, one week later. I walk to O-dot to get me some more crackers and to see Alex. I am totes gonna ask him out.
Inside, I see him. SCANNING ANOTHER GIRL'S ITEMS! Nawh. Dis ain't happenin. I run up to da counter and push he girl away. "HEY! WHAT CHU DOIN?" I yell at Alex. He looks around. "Umm. Doing my job?" He says. My face contorts into the weird look again. "NO! CHU ARE CHEATING ON MEH!" I scream, throwing a box of crackers at him.
I run outta the store and drive off. Gurl, he doesn't know what he got himself into.
Uh uh.
Your hand fits in mine like it's made just for me
But bear this mind it was meant to be
And I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks
And it all makes sense to me
I know you've never loved the crinkles by your eyes when you smile
You've never loved your stomach or your thighs
The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine
But I'll love them endlessly
I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth
But if I do, it's you, oh it's you, they add up to
I'm in love with you and all these little things
You can't go to bed without a cup of tea
Maybe that's the reason that you talk in your sleep
And all those conversations are the secrets that I keep
Though it makes no sense to me
I know you've never loved the sound of your voice on tape
You never want to know how much you weigh
You still have to squeeze into your jeans
But you're perfect to me
I won't let these little things slips out of my mouth
But if it's true, it's you, it's you, they add up to
I'm in love with you and all these little things
You never love yourself half as much as I love you
You'll never treat yourself right darling but I want you to
If I let you know, I'm here for you
Maybe you'll love yourself like I love you oh
I've just let these little things slip out of my mouth
Because it's you, oh it's you, it's you they add up to
And I'm in love with you (all these little things)
I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth
But if it's true, it's you, it's you they add up to
I'm in love with you, and all your little things
I'm in love with 1D and all Niall's little things
But bear this mind it was meant to be
And I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks
And it all makes sense to me
I know you've never loved the crinkles by your eyes when you smile
You've never loved your stomach or your thighs
The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine
But I'll love them endlessly
I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth
But if I do, it's you, oh it's you, they add up to
I'm in love with you and all these little things
You can't go to bed without a cup of tea
Maybe that's the reason that you talk in your sleep
And all those conversations are the secrets that I keep
Though it makes no sense to me
I know you've never loved the sound of your voice on tape
You never want to know how much you weigh
You still have to squeeze into your jeans
But you're perfect to me
I won't let these little things slips out of my mouth
But if it's true, it's you, it's you, they add up to
I'm in love with you and all these little things
You never love yourself half as much as I love you
You'll never treat yourself right darling but I want you to
If I let you know, I'm here for you
Maybe you'll love yourself like I love you oh
I've just let these little things slip out of my mouth
Because it's you, oh it's you, it's you they add up to
And I'm in love with you (all these little things)
I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth
But if it's true, it's you, it's you they add up to
I'm in love with you, and all your little things
I'm in love with 1D and all Niall's little things
SYRUP ON POUTINE
Member
812 posts
1,648
Seen 16th August 2021
4th November 2014, 04:35 PM
If you don't know who Alex From Target is, I will explain.
Basically, he is just some normal teenager that works at Target. Some girl took a picture of him while she was checking out and posted the picture on Twitter. Then he just became famous.
A bunch of people created pictures that include a picture of him and something below him that says "He scanned my items when nobody else would" and stuff like that.
So yeah.
Basically, he is just some normal teenager that works at Target. Some girl took a picture of him while she was checking out and posted the picture on Twitter. Then he just became famous.
A bunch of people created pictures that include a picture of him and something below him that says "He scanned my items when nobody else would" and stuff like that.
So yeah.
Your hand fits in mine like it's made just for me
But bear this mind it was meant to be
And I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks
And it all makes sense to me
I know you've never loved the crinkles by your eyes when you smile
You've never loved your stomach or your thighs
The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine
But I'll love them endlessly
I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth
But if I do, it's you, oh it's you, they add up to
I'm in love with you and all these little things
You can't go to bed without a cup of tea
Maybe that's the reason that you talk in your sleep
And all those conversations are the secrets that I keep
Though it makes no sense to me
I know you've never loved the sound of your voice on tape
You never want to know how much you weigh
You still have to squeeze into your jeans
But you're perfect to me
I won't let these little things slips out of my mouth
But if it's true, it's you, it's you, they add up to
I'm in love with you and all these little things
You never love yourself half as much as I love you
You'll never treat yourself right darling but I want you to
If I let you know, I'm here for you
Maybe you'll love yourself like I love you oh
I've just let these little things slip out of my mouth
Because it's you, oh it's you, it's you they add up to
And I'm in love with you (all these little things)
I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth
But if it's true, it's you, it's you they add up to
I'm in love with you, and all your little things
I'm in love with 1D and all Niall's little things
But bear this mind it was meant to be
And I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks
And it all makes sense to me
I know you've never loved the crinkles by your eyes when you smile
You've never loved your stomach or your thighs
The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine
But I'll love them endlessly
I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth
But if I do, it's you, oh it's you, they add up to
I'm in love with you and all these little things
You can't go to bed without a cup of tea
Maybe that's the reason that you talk in your sleep
And all those conversations are the secrets that I keep
Though it makes no sense to me
I know you've never loved the sound of your voice on tape
You never want to know how much you weigh
You still have to squeeze into your jeans
But you're perfect to me
I won't let these little things slips out of my mouth
But if it's true, it's you, it's you, they add up to
I'm in love with you and all these little things
You never love yourself half as much as I love you
You'll never treat yourself right darling but I want you to
If I let you know, I'm here for you
Maybe you'll love yourself like I love you oh
I've just let these little things slip out of my mouth
Because it's you, oh it's you, it's you they add up to
And I'm in love with you (all these little things)
I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth
But if it's true, it's you, it's you they add up to
I'm in love with you, and all your little things
I'm in love with 1D and all Niall's little things
Rap Diablo
Master
3,463 posts
2,848
Seen 30th September 2022
4th November 2014, 04:44 PM
SYRUP ON POUTINE
Member
812 posts
1,648
Seen 16th August 2021
4th November 2014, 04:51 PM
Quote:
The way his hands graze the bag. LOL
Your hand fits in mine like it's made just for me
But bear this mind it was meant to be
And I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks
And it all makes sense to me
I know you've never loved the crinkles by your eyes when you smile
You've never loved your stomach or your thighs
The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine
But I'll love them endlessly
I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth
But if I do, it's you, oh it's you, they add up to
I'm in love with you and all these little things
You can't go to bed without a cup of tea
Maybe that's the reason that you talk in your sleep
And all those conversations are the secrets that I keep
Though it makes no sense to me
I know you've never loved the sound of your voice on tape
You never want to know how much you weigh
You still have to squeeze into your jeans
But you're perfect to me
I won't let these little things slips out of my mouth
But if it's true, it's you, it's you, they add up to
I'm in love with you and all these little things
You never love yourself half as much as I love you
You'll never treat yourself right darling but I want you to
If I let you know, I'm here for you
Maybe you'll love yourself like I love you oh
I've just let these little things slip out of my mouth
Because it's you, oh it's you, it's you they add up to
And I'm in love with you (all these little things)
I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth
But if it's true, it's you, it's you they add up to
I'm in love with you, and all your little things
I'm in love with 1D and all Niall's little things
But bear this mind it was meant to be
And I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks
And it all makes sense to me
I know you've never loved the crinkles by your eyes when you smile
You've never loved your stomach or your thighs
The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine
But I'll love them endlessly
I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth
But if I do, it's you, oh it's you, they add up to
I'm in love with you and all these little things
You can't go to bed without a cup of tea
Maybe that's the reason that you talk in your sleep
And all those conversations are the secrets that I keep
Though it makes no sense to me
I know you've never loved the sound of your voice on tape
You never want to know how much you weigh
You still have to squeeze into your jeans
But you're perfect to me
I won't let these little things slips out of my mouth
But if it's true, it's you, it's you, they add up to
I'm in love with you and all these little things
You never love yourself half as much as I love you
You'll never treat yourself right darling but I want you to
If I let you know, I'm here for you
Maybe you'll love yourself like I love you oh
I've just let these little things slip out of my mouth
Because it's you, oh it's you, it's you they add up to
And I'm in love with you (all these little things)
I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth
But if it's true, it's you, it's you they add up to
I'm in love with you, and all your little things
I'm in love with 1D and all Niall's little things
The Great
Master
3,983 posts
10,518
Seen 10th September 2020
Stags
4th November 2014, 05:05 PM
Frankly I think this whole thing about Alex from Target is stupid.
Member
254 posts
72
Seen 4th November 2014
CrimeSolvers
4th November 2014, 05:16 PM
Quote:
Frankly I think this whole thing about Alex from Target is stupid.
Member
682 posts
1,143
Seen 10th November 2015
Cats
4th November 2014, 05:34 PM
OMG THIS WAS PERFECT
all the guys will be falling for you. All of them.
Quote:
The whole snack aisle has so many things BUT crackers. I blame global warming.
Quote:
His eyes are wide, one of his eyebrows raised, and his mouth is all weird. "Were you the one screaming?" He asks. I nod, batting my eyes. I reach into my pocket and take my red lip gloss, applying it all over my lips and pretty much my whole face. I am so totes beautiful. All the guys will be falling for me.
all the guys will be falling for you. All of them.
tessa (;
SYRUP ON POUTINE
Member
812 posts
1,648
Seen 16th August 2021
4th November 2014, 07:55 PM
Quote:
Quote:
Frankly I think this whole thing about Alex from Target is stupid.
Me too he is just a normal teen.
Frankly I think this whole thing about Alex from Target is stupid.
Me too he is just a normal teen.
Your hand fits in mine like it's made just for me
But bear this mind it was meant to be
And I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks
And it all makes sense to me
I know you've never loved the crinkles by your eyes when you smile
You've never loved your stomach or your thighs
The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine
But I'll love them endlessly
I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth
But if I do, it's you, oh it's you, they add up to
I'm in love with you and all these little things
You can't go to bed without a cup of tea
Maybe that's the reason that you talk in your sleep
And all those conversations are the secrets that I keep
Though it makes no sense to me
I know you've never loved the sound of your voice on tape
You never want to know how much you weigh
You still have to squeeze into your jeans
But you're perfect to me
I won't let these little things slips out of my mouth
But if it's true, it's you, it's you, they add up to
I'm in love with you and all these little things
You never love yourself half as much as I love you
You'll never treat yourself right darling but I want you to
If I let you know, I'm here for you
Maybe you'll love yourself like I love you oh
I've just let these little things slip out of my mouth
Because it's you, oh it's you, it's you they add up to
And I'm in love with you (all these little things)
I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth
But if it's true, it's you, it's you they add up to
I'm in love with you, and all your little things
I'm in love with 1D and all Niall's little things
But bear this mind it was meant to be
And I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks
And it all makes sense to me
I know you've never loved the crinkles by your eyes when you smile
You've never loved your stomach or your thighs
The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine
But I'll love them endlessly
I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth
But if I do, it's you, oh it's you, they add up to
I'm in love with you and all these little things
You can't go to bed without a cup of tea
Maybe that's the reason that you talk in your sleep
And all those conversations are the secrets that I keep
Though it makes no sense to me
I know you've never loved the sound of your voice on tape
You never want to know how much you weigh
You still have to squeeze into your jeans
But you're perfect to me
I won't let these little things slips out of my mouth
But if it's true, it's you, it's you, they add up to
I'm in love with you and all these little things
You never love yourself half as much as I love you
You'll never treat yourself right darling but I want you to
If I let you know, I'm here for you
Maybe you'll love yourself like I love you oh
I've just let these little things slip out of my mouth
Because it's you, oh it's you, it's you they add up to
And I'm in love with you (all these little things)
I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth
But if it's true, it's you, it's you they add up to
I'm in love with you, and all your little things
I'm in love with 1D and all Niall's little things