I'm gonna go ahead and put this in debates since this seems pretty much like a debatable topic to me. (If you wanna move it, go ahead ig..) But I'm gonna jump onto the train of posts here because I really like this topic and I have quite a bit to say. Honestly, OldCP's done both ruin my life but it's also made it really great.

I joined back when I was 8 years old and I was just... excited. This website was so much different than anything else I'd seen and I remember screaming ''OMGOMGOMG A MOD ADDED ME'' the first time I met Cornbread. I was just ecstatic like any child would've been. I met tons of great people like Lou, Terry, Cristal, Jacks, Jake01, Courtney, Cornbread, Mal31, Chase, Rachel (not the one who joined in 2016). They all made me feel really happy and they were amazing people to talk to. I remember spending 8 hours each day just chatting with them about the most random stuff. I was just going into 3rd grade and so I was incredibly nervous but they calmed me down and told me it wasn't that bad at all.

But then I met some really bad people who are going to stay anonymous. They were either really mean to me or really inappropriate. When Mal was being bullied back in 2016 people blamed it on her smart mouth. But when she tried to explain it wasn't her fault, they wouldn't have any of that. She was diagnosed with Asperger's and yet people used that against her. I tried to stand up for her. Nobody would do a damn thing but sit there and watch. I tried to put an end to it because she would stay up at night crying in my dm. She wouldn't want to wake up and face the hell she was put through. And yet when I told people to shut up and leave her alone, I was told to shut up and stay out of it and that I was an idiot for siding with her. Not even 2 years later me and my other friend were told to kill ourselves, him because he was being verbally assaulted for something not even true and me because I was standing up for him. I was told that the very day my cat died. I was already an emotional wreck and that made it worse. And then we kept getting death threats, we were called retarded and you know what happened after that? I reported it and I was literally told to stop making up lies. By the people's best friend who was also an administrator at the time. That was disgusting. It was vile. For a game so set on making everyone feel welcome, there sure is a great amount of oblivity that goes to certain discussions. When I was promoted to staff for the very first time in summer 2017, Damen told me that you always give out full punishments, even if the person is your friend. What those boys did should've had them all demoted and ipbanned and you know what they actually got? A BLOODY WARNING. A warning for verbally assaulting people.

I know, I've done my fair share of wrongdoing on this game but that was during a time where I couldn't control myself. I was just so fed up with the way people acted towards my friends that I had complete disregard for the rules. I wanted to treat the people the same way they were treating my friends, I wanted karma to swing around and hit them in the head. But no... karma did not come at all. Instead I was verbally abused, called a stupid immature 12 year old. Yeah, my own age was used against me. You can think I'm immature all they want but compared to them, I was acting like a damn adult.

And then on December 4th, 2018 that lovely little fight happened between me and a few others. One of them was being extremely rude to someone else and so I told them to shut up. They got offended by that. They started calling me loser, edgelord, everytime they saw me they would say ''Imagine being (insert comment about me here). And nobody did anything. A few of the staff even laughed. Someone else joined up with the other guy and were making vile comments about me. He said, ''I don't think Zen's a girl. But I don't think they're a boy either. No, they don't have a gender.'' Yeah. They decided my gender was nonbinary FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER OTHER THAN ME TELLING THEM TO STOP BEING RUDE TO OTHER PEOPLE. I got really upset by that. I was sent over my bursting point. Nobody would do anything and so I took matters into my own hands. You may have heard how I went evil and attempted to kill them. I didn't go evil. I just wanted them to shut up and leave me alone because none of the staff would do anything. I got 2 hits in before being arrested. I was put on KOS without even receiving a chance to explain myself. I was given a chance in jail but I could barely speak due to one of the guys (he was actually a free fighter at the time) attempting to kill me every 5 seconds. I eventually let Tave go ahead and kill me since he was the only person who wasn't being rude to me, who wasn't calling me crazy. He was trying to calm me down. He was telling me that it wasn't my fault and yet nobody else seemed to believe me.

I've gone into discord chats that I've been kicked out of in the past. I look at my name in the message history. I've seen the things people say of me. I've seen how many of who I believed to be my friends calling me insane, calling me a retard, calling me autistic. Have some damned respect. Those people can't control how they act. They were born with an illness. That doesn't mean they're less intelligent than all of us.

While this game is quite toxic the deeper you dive into it, I've met amazing people that have kept me here for as long as I've been here. Had I never met them, I'd've been gone a long, long time ago.

PLEASE DON'T GET OFFENDED BY ANY OF THIS. THIS WAS MY HONEST THOUGHTS AND VIEWPOINT AND IT'S BEEN SOMETHING I'VE BEEN HOLDING IN FOR THE PAST 3 YEARS.

Aww zen this post is amazing just explaining everything. It really sucks hearing what you had to go through with Mal and all the abuse you got from users, you’re one of the most nice and respectable users here and to hear that this has happened to you it’s just sad and disgusting to hear that people in this community have done that and I hate how it’s continued on today and how some don’t learn from it even I’ve learned from it before I went to a point like some of those people but I did it only because I started shooting back some of the attitude but I know it’s not right to do and I did it just as a way of defending myself but now I know to be a bigger person, and Zen you are a bigger person no matter what age, gender whatever you are you’re a bigger and more respectable person.

I think some people could learn from this and their actions, know the difference between right and wrong and the difference between a small joke and something offensive to the point where it can hurt, and I meant really hurt.
Some people’s gotta learn that even though this is the internet and it’s not words coming from the mouth, these are still words that are coming from the mind, these are words that can offend, hurt and kill. Some people have to release that sometimes what people say won’t always end up going well.

JustRigby wrote on 4th March 2020, 12:30 AM:

Aww zen this post is amazing just explaining everything. It really sucks hearing what you had to go through with Mal and all the abuse you got from users, you’re one of the most nice and respectable users here and to hear that this has happened to you it’s just sad and disgusting to hear that people in this community have done that and I hate how it’s continued on today and how some don’t learn from it even I’ve learned from it before I went to a point like some of those people but I did it only because I started shooting back some of the attitude but I know it’s not right to do and I did it just as a way of defending myself but now I know to be a bigger person, and Zen you are a bigger person no matter what age, gender whatever you are you’re a bigger and more respectable person.
I think some people could learn from this and their actions, know the difference between right and wrong and the difference between a small joke and something offensive to the point where it can hurt, and I meant really hurt.
Some people’s gotta learn that even though this is the internet and it’s not words coming from the mouth, these are still words that are coming from the mind, these are words that can offend, hurt and kill. Some people have to release that sometimes what people say won’t always end up going well.

I’d like this but I can’t seeing as I’m doing that sacrifice where I’ve given up the ability to like posts in exchange for twice the amount of rep

ur posts r good but I wish u can make them shorter because i dont have enough brain cells to comprehend that much

If only you mentioned Frogs in that list.. He wouldn't have killed himself irl

RIP Forgs 03/04/2020

Frogs wrote on 4th March 2020, 02:07 PM:

If only you mentioned Frogs in that list.. He wouldn't have killed himself irl
RIP Forgs 03/04/2020

IM SORRY BESTIE I was naming the people I met in 2015 :’(

it's sad that people are like that but that's just the internet and you have to realise no one would say what they say here to your face because they wouldn't have a screen infront of them. but then again anywhere else on the internet people are just worse than what's it's like on oldcp. a lot of the people that say the stuff to you are most likely projecting or just insecure about themselves and you need to keep that in mind.

Xvoid wrote on 4th March 2020, 08:25 PM:

it's sad that people are like that but that's just the internet and you have to realise no one would say what they say here to your face because they wouldn't have a screen infront of them. but then again anywhere else on the internet people are just worse than what's it's like on oldcp. a lot of the people that say the stuff to you are most likely projecting or just insecure about themselves and you need to keep that in mind.

very true but then again, there are people irl that say the exact same things as people would say here.
granted, they may be young but still, words sting.
when I was in 5th grade I was helping my friend doing safety patrol duties and there was a 4th grader who was being really rude and she was one of those rich kid jerks who thought they were better than everything else and she said, ''Ew, why are you talking to me? Nobody wants you here screw off.'' and that stung. It's been nearly 3 years and I haven't forgotten that.
Yeah, I know also that people are worse on other websites and that they're just releasing pent up anger but that crap hurts. They think just because they're on a screen that what they say/do isn't logged.
Newsflash- everything you say and do online is logged. And nowadays, most employers will pull data from the computer about what you've said to see if you're fit and if they find that you've been saying evil things when you're at an age where you should know better, they'll have you arrested.
It's just sad is all.

I'd like your post but I can't because of my sacrifice.