Queen of Vultures
Administrator
1,641 posts
11,587
Seen 31st August 2023
Vultures
31st October 2022, 01:17 AM
DSGHQ TABLOID: EXPOSING USERS SINCE 2022
Welcome to the new DSGHQ Tabloid. This is where we will expose every scandal occurring in the Damen Spike Games Headquarters Community!
In this edition we are featuring explosive headlines such as:
The Lady of Winter Skies: Is it Snow or is it Dandruff?
You may be familiar with Luna, the Lady of Winter Skies. I'm sure everyone has witnessed that beautiful snow gently falling about her as she stands around looking pretty. But has anyone ever really thought about it? It is constantly snowing around her, even indoors! Everyone knows it is impossible for it to snow indoors. Slowly, more and more people have been realizing this. The only logical conclusion one can draw is that it is not snow that is falling around Luna, it is dandruff! Next time you see this beautiful lady, give her some dandruff shampoo and help her with her issue! I'm sure she will thank you for it.
Zen's Fictional Fiction
People often read Zen's stories and news articles and have noticed that they are consistently perfect in every way. Rumor has been brewing about how she maintains such quality throughout all of her works. More and more people are coming to believe that everything she publishes has been plagiarized! In fact, there is evidence to support this claim. Think about this; every single word she writes can be found in one place, the dictionary!
Exposing the Face Behind Gamer's Mask
One of the first things people notice when they meet Gamer is that he is wearing a mask. While he claims to be hiding his identity, we think that perhaps he is hiding something else. Everyone knows that Gamer has been involved in a number of battles. He has fought against Ancalagon, Gothmog, Melkor, and even his own father. Perhaps Gamer is not trying to hide his identity, he does state it openly to just about anyone who asks! A couple people have actually seen Gamer without his mask on before. Neither person wished to be named, but they did tell us that Gamer does not have a nose! One person even said he witnessed Gamer lose his nose when his father (Pythas) grabbed Gamer's nose between two fingers and ripped it off his face saying "I got your nose!" Poor Gamer, he was only a child at the time!
Flame? More Like Frosty the Snowman!
Flame often walks around wearing flames and a cloak. This often leads people to think that he must be pretty hot, but word on the street says that he is actually very cold! Those flames he wears? Fake! His red colored skin? Just a bunch of red holiday lights! How is Flame always so warm? Easy, he puts his clothes in the dryer before he puts them on. He also puts all his blankets in the dryer before he makes his bed and goes to sleep at night.
Fable the Lore Disaster?
Fable has made a name for himself being a lore master, but is he really a master of lore? One person observed that Fable looks down at his hands a lot during trials and any time he is called upon for wisdom or knowledge. So what is he looking at his hands for? Obviously he has crib notes. He has notes about lore and wisdom tattooed on his hands! No one has actually seen these crib notes but they are quite obviously there. Just watch him the next time anyone asks him for wisdom!
What is Nessa Running From?
Nessa, also known as Nessa the Swift, is the fastest of all creation. She runs faster than a leopard, more nimbly than a deer, and more graceful than a swan. But why is Nessa always running? It cannot possibly be for fun. Everyone knows that running is not fun. So what does Nessa have to run from? Nessa's husband is Tulkas, the Warlord Ainur. He should be able to keep her safe with his amazing axe skills. But what if it is he that she is running from? This is something to contemplate and will have to be investigated further before any real conclusions are drawn.
Thank you for reading the DSGHQ Tabloid! Be sure to join us again in the future!
Welcome to the new DSGHQ Tabloid. This is where we will expose every scandal occurring in the Damen Spike Games Headquarters Community!
In this edition we are featuring explosive headlines such as:
- The Lady of Winter Skies: Is it Snow or is it Dandruff?
- Zen the Plagiarizer?
- Gamer's Mask: What is he Hiding?
- Flame - HOT or NOT?
- Fable the Lore Disaster?
- Nessa: Running for Fun?
The Lady of Winter Skies: Is it Snow or is it Dandruff?
You may be familiar with Luna, the Lady of Winter Skies. I'm sure everyone has witnessed that beautiful snow gently falling about her as she stands around looking pretty. But has anyone ever really thought about it? It is constantly snowing around her, even indoors! Everyone knows it is impossible for it to snow indoors. Slowly, more and more people have been realizing this. The only logical conclusion one can draw is that it is not snow that is falling around Luna, it is dandruff! Next time you see this beautiful lady, give her some dandruff shampoo and help her with her issue! I'm sure she will thank you for it.
Zen's Fictional Fiction
People often read Zen's stories and news articles and have noticed that they are consistently perfect in every way. Rumor has been brewing about how she maintains such quality throughout all of her works. More and more people are coming to believe that everything she publishes has been plagiarized! In fact, there is evidence to support this claim. Think about this; every single word she writes can be found in one place, the dictionary!
Exposing the Face Behind Gamer's Mask
One of the first things people notice when they meet Gamer is that he is wearing a mask. While he claims to be hiding his identity, we think that perhaps he is hiding something else. Everyone knows that Gamer has been involved in a number of battles. He has fought against Ancalagon, Gothmog, Melkor, and even his own father. Perhaps Gamer is not trying to hide his identity, he does state it openly to just about anyone who asks! A couple people have actually seen Gamer without his mask on before. Neither person wished to be named, but they did tell us that Gamer does not have a nose! One person even said he witnessed Gamer lose his nose when his father (Pythas) grabbed Gamer's nose between two fingers and ripped it off his face saying "I got your nose!" Poor Gamer, he was only a child at the time!
Flame? More Like Frosty the Snowman!
Flame often walks around wearing flames and a cloak. This often leads people to think that he must be pretty hot, but word on the street says that he is actually very cold! Those flames he wears? Fake! His red colored skin? Just a bunch of red holiday lights! How is Flame always so warm? Easy, he puts his clothes in the dryer before he puts them on. He also puts all his blankets in the dryer before he makes his bed and goes to sleep at night.
Fable the Lore Disaster?
Fable has made a name for himself being a lore master, but is he really a master of lore? One person observed that Fable looks down at his hands a lot during trials and any time he is called upon for wisdom or knowledge. So what is he looking at his hands for? Obviously he has crib notes. He has notes about lore and wisdom tattooed on his hands! No one has actually seen these crib notes but they are quite obviously there. Just watch him the next time anyone asks him for wisdom!
What is Nessa Running From?
Nessa, also known as Nessa the Swift, is the fastest of all creation. She runs faster than a leopard, more nimbly than a deer, and more graceful than a swan. But why is Nessa always running? It cannot possibly be for fun. Everyone knows that running is not fun. So what does Nessa have to run from? Nessa's husband is Tulkas, the Warlord Ainur. He should be able to keep her safe with his amazing axe skills. But what if it is he that she is running from? This is something to contemplate and will have to be investigated further before any real conclusions are drawn.
Thank you for reading the DSGHQ Tabloid! Be sure to join us again in the future!
Septim 
Menace to Society
288 posts
1,167
Seen 27th May 2023
Solaris
31st October 2022, 04:38 PM
harry15514 wrote on 31st October 2022, 08:16 AM:
*sweats* I think I'm in the clear
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.