I… i'm genuinely concerned..

also hey nerd its been a while

ok boomer

edit: y'all this was a joke

Xvoid wrote on 1st November 2019, 08:30 AM:

the best joke in oldcp history is you

wrong, it’s me.

not making report.
ya girl has a wedding to attend.

ily bff im always gonna be here for you
you're never gonna be alone

Lark wrote on 20th October 2019, 06:01 PM:

MESSAGE FROM DAMEN: IF YOU EVER SHOW BIAS TO THE EVIL, YOU WILL BE DEMOTED.
That was to melian you should fix that.

Fixed it but I simply thought everyone should know that since so many people are biased towards evil people. It's quite sad, honestly.

August wrote on 20th October 2019, 05:54 PM:

Well written report and why did u do ?? after some

Because I'm unsure whether or not it was stay or demote because of how close they were in numbers. Thanks though.

I see that our friendship in 2015 meant nothing ;(


jk

no Christina
don't turn into one of them
youre the only good guy left

The only reason why I haven’t been on much is because summer was very difficult for me. Many things went down that I really don’t feel like sharing but I’ve given plenty of inactivity notices. And yeah, I’ve done some things as a mod but not a lot because whenever I go on there’s only like 2 other people online and they’re both always afk so there’s no point sitting there with just myself. But I have done things, just making that clear. I’ve been a mod since March 2019. I’ve done some things while you haven’t been online. Not trying to be rude or anything and I’m sorry if it comes off as rude I’m just really tired rn and not in a good mind.

Last year was really difficult for me.

Many people bullied me, both here and irl. My good friend committed suicide. My best friend was driven from this community. My uncle, other uncle, childhood friend and teacher died. My mental health was drastically declining and there were times where I seriously considered giving up. Towards the end of 2018, my behavior got so bad I was basically violent towards anyone who I didn't feel support or comfort from. I was mentally in the dumps. I went to guidance and counseling on a daily basis. I stopped talking. I stopped participating in class. I stopped eating lunch with the rest of the school and I was barely able to get myself out of bed. They believed me to have aspergers syndrome. A high-functioning form of it because my symptoms are near identical to that of an aspergic child. My breakdowns were the exact same. I was giving off the same signs and I extremely struggled with understanding the difference between jokes, sarcasm and insults. I was violent and aggressive and I cussed many people out and attacked many people when I felt threatened or insulted. I had my first mental breakdown on 10/31, where it got to the point where I was given an ultimatum- Go to the guidance counselor or they'd have me committed.

So I went to the counselor. She got me help. She got me enrolled in a counseling system where a professional psychiatrist would come into the school every Wednesday during the end-of-day free-time, talk to me and ask me what I'd do to fix myself. They gave me stress balls, baseball bats, punching bags, the entire thing. I stopped harming others and myself and started taking my emotions out on non-living things. That seriously helped me. It fixed the break that was created in my family, the thing that damaged the mental wall in my brain. I began to be more social. I started eating more food and I stopped taking scissors to my forearms. I began to laugh, to smile, to joke and to live my life without having that damn shadow over me all the time.

Sure, I still have my meltdowns and yes, I do sometimes get violent but I'm getting better at controlling myself. I wouldn't really say I'm depressed anymore. I mean, yeah, it'll still come for me and it'll corrupt my emotional status but I'm fine. And that's basically the past year in a nutshell.

everything smelled like flowers in the morning
I was actually happy
the school hallways smelled like glue and dusty books (it was at my academy, it was a really old school so the floors and walls were stone)
WE ACTUALLY COULD SLEEP IN SCHOOL WITHOUT GETTING THE DAYLIGHTS SCARED OUT OF US

Sugar, I know we haven't exactly been on decent terms for the past year but you've always been considered a trustworthy person in my eyes. You were there for me for so long in 2015 and honestly, it kinda hurts to see you go. You've always been nice to me. Well, you were in 2015 but we unfortunately had a bit of conflict and.. yeah. But you're a great person and I'm sad to see you go. Keep being a great person. I hope you have a good life.