mariojack905 wrote on 14th May 2020, 08:58 PM:

jdutr for news reporter bruh. this made a confusing story so easy to read for my special needs brain

Thanks man

As the CO (Crap Office), don't bother doing anything, I will summarise today's events for everyone as best as I can. (If I refer to myself in the third person it's bc it's weird enough that I have to report my own crimes lol).


Pt 1: The Theft of the Throne

On Tuesday a session was held at thrones. As usual, Damen took questions at the end of the session from users in the crowd. The final question was given to Jdutr who came forth... then suddenly...







The throne was stolen by Jdutr in broad daylight.




Pt 2 Damen Negotiates the return of the Throne

After the throne was missing for 3 days, Damen decided to meet with Jdutr (along with Sled and Major), in order to bargain for the handing over of the famous Toblerthrone.

Various offers such as 2 million gold were presented by the Drakes, however, it was not enough. Becoming tired of such low offers, Jdutr cursed prince Majorhalo with great sickness, causing his father to panic.

Jdutr demanded that Damen and the Empire submit to Myfort and hand over the DRAKE generic military. He slid Damen a contract and let it be known that if the terms were broken, MajorHalo would not recover and that the rest of his family would be cursed also. Damen proclaimed "I SUBMIT TO MYFORT!" before signing the contract.



Pt 1.5 The cover-up


Before the negotiations took place, the great Empress Helper Sled held a trial for Void who was accused of killing an unarmed account in the North. Interestingly enough, when Sled went to check the room... THE THRONE WAS THERE!?! Now, surely this must have been an illusion, for Jdutr would not steal a throne just to return it without gaining anything... right!? These were the thoughts of Jdutr also (who was annoyed that it had indeed returned), and so he asked Sled to hide the throne so "as not to confuse other people".



The throne was then hidden behind a curtain and replaced by a (rather stylish) pink beanbag. Nobody suspected anything....



Pt 3. Drawing back the curtains


Now, as stated in part 2, Damen submitted to MyFort and signed the contract handing over the DRAKE military on the condition that the throne was found back in the throne room.

Once signed, Jdutr led all 3 admins to the throne room to return the throne. The punchline?..... The throne had been there all day and had been covered up by Sled at the trial earlier without Damen being informed. This meant that Damen had done the unthinkable in vain and it was all for nothing...

A great trick had been played on both Sled and Damen and it left the Empire in a very vulnerable situation. The throne was never stolen, but instead, it had been hidden through the power possessed by Myrus. (Jdutr does not have trousers with large enough pockets to fit a throne in!)

Damen, therefore, decided that submitting to Myfort could have been prevented if only Sled and he had been more observant, meaning that it was ultimatley their fault.

As a punishment, Damen made Sled and himself a healer and exiled both admins from the South for one week. Sled was not happy that she had been tricked and punished for this....



Pt 4 War of the women


In place of Sled and Damen, Chelsey was selected by Raindrop to uphold the peace of the kingdom and the wishes of the Drake dynasty.

Now, as mentioned, Sled was unhappy at her punishment and disobeyed Damen's order that she be exiled for one week. Chelsey, sworn to act on behalf of Raindrop and her Lord brother Damen, warned Sled multiple times that she must flee southern land or risk being executed. This did not stop Sled, still enraged at her punishment.

Chelsey then gave the order for a DRAKE agent (still under the control of the Empire as Damen chose to break his contract and receive sickness as result), to execute Sled. Shots were then exchanged until...





Sled was killed by the Empire she had served so long.



Pt TBC

The empire is currently as divided as ever as users take sides both with and against the empire. Only time will tell what happens next...

Haloween1000 wrote on 13th May 2020, 03:53 PM:

damn nice poem

Pt. 2 at 300 likes

There was once a boy named Jdutr,
Who stole a chocolate throne
Despite his pickpocket actions,
he had not one violent bone!

The Emperor soon got angry,
He put a bounty on my head!
He told his group of minions:
"MAKE SURE HE IS FOUND DEAD!"


His sheep chased down the robber,
With a promised reward in mind
They slayed many defenseless users,
Now that wasn't very kind!


Many saw that this was wrong,
"The Empire is corrupt!",
When confronted about the murders
They couldn't give a ........ !


Now I leave you with one message,
Just before I go,
I ask that you repeat this for me...


Reveal Spoiler

Haloween1000 wrote on 12th May 2020, 10:05 AM:

damn I cant believe you did that legit you pulled off the biggest crime by stealing the precious throne that every drake and royalty sat on..

Your Royal buttocks shall never sit on the throne again

Jake01 wrote on 12th May 2020, 08:26 AM:

Quote:

Jdutr wrote on 12th May 2020, 08:24 AM:
Quote:
Tom080 wrote on 12th May 2020, 07:09 AM:
Will this chair be available at my local SCS?

DFS ONLY!
I always thought I'd see something like the Toblerthrone at Oak Furniture Land...
*knock knock*

Chocolate Furniture Land sounds like a gap in the market ngl

Tom080 wrote on 12th May 2020, 07:09 AM:

Will this chair be available at my local SCS?

DFS ONLY!

Good evening everyone.





I have come into possession of some VERY comfortable furniture! I think it will look lovely in our evil living room, (I have also ordered matching curtains how cute).


Besides this, I must remind you that:

Quote:

Kace has been cursed with illness. Can Kace cure himself? If he can not, he is not worthy of Lord of the Earth.

Kace is not worthy and he shall fail. We have the Toblerthrone and now we seek the throne of earth. It is only a matter of time...


ANYWAYS, I will be going back to sitting on my lovely new chair and keeping it warm for the powerful one.



THE THRONE IS OURS AND YOU CANNOT HAVE IT! HAHAHAAH



Reveal Spoiler

Syd this is disgusting gossip. I think the rest of the community will join me in saying that this is not helpful and that we won't tolerate it. DSGHQ is all about love and tolerance no matter who we are. Lets all just get along

Excellent work, Harry. I have no idea what I just watched, but well done.

The moderator has banned your account.
Reason: genocide mention, so therefore not rlly a good user.



Jk this is a very well constructed post which does a great job at educating people on such an overlooked historical event. I also didn’t know you were part Armenian but ig that explains why you look so much like Kim Kardashian?

Good evening fellow Lex Games HQ members.

I bring you some bad news...













That’s right, the dream team of Lex and Rocket has unfortunately failed and the game is already delayed.












This is so sad! How will we cope until it is released? X(

Screw the DSGHQ! Lex Games HQ will rise above in triumph!



(Once he figures out how to do literally anything)

This is a public service announcement!

For all fans of Bangahs, Slangahs and Clangahs alike, we have a surprise for you...










The Hangah event!





That’s right, you are being publicly executed for being a pain in the ass.

“Damn, that’s a hangah” - ESPN live commentator