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They're not the Despicable Me minions, these are actually enemies from Super Mario Bros or The Legend of Zelda games.

Alright, so this is a song from Brawl in the Family, a hilarious webcomic featuring Nintendo characters, mainly ones that appeared in Smash Bros. including third-parties like Sonic and Mega Man.
I'm gonna type the lyrics to the song as well as a link to the Youtube video of the "musical comic" so you can see the illustrations. NO, THEY'RE NOT BY ME. Also, Brawl in the Family ended, so if you ever go to their website you'll always be met with comic 600 - the final comic.
Anyways, let's begin.
*instrumental*
Do you remember the Phirana Plant
that you roasted in 5-1?
And were you there when his family
Recieved the news about their son?
These minions clock in from 9 to 5
To provide for their wives
Not knowing it'd be the last day of their lives
So light a candle
For the Goombas
That were crushed beneath your feet.
Say a prayer for all the octoroks
That were sliced into mince meat
Give a shout out to the keese you killed
Just to open that locked door *zelda secret sound plays*
'Cause no one thinks about the minions anymore
*sniff*
As we gather here to mourn the loss of our pal,
let's never forget that...
Dodongo disliked smoke.
He disliked smoke... to the end!
Goodbye sweet kraken
It's pronounced "crackin"
He used bombs wisely...
But at what cost?
AT WHAT COST?!
The last Metroid is in captivity.
The rest... have all DIED.
Your pet Yoshi helped himself to a buffet (Shy Guy flambe)
You've slain 'em just for being in your way (Get 'em, Entei!)
They've got kids to feed
Yards to weed
Taxes and bills to pay
So put your plumber's hat over your heart and say...
That you're sorry
To the mets you fried
Just to grab an extra screw (Grab an extra screw)
Apologize to the ducks you shot
So a dog wouldn't laugh at you
Genocide is typically frowned upon
And yet Samus disagrees
Don't forget the Imps you killed for EXP..
???: These minions gave their lives...
???: For guys like
Bowser: meee.....
*clapping*
Video Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEojI5-IueI
I guess that's it folks.
Thanks for reading the lyrics, and definetely check out Brawl in the Family. They don't post comics anymore, but you can have a whale of a time partying with the Random button.
Lots of kirby characters BTW

This is a post in memory of Anna, one of my bestest friends that announced she was quitting.
This happened before but she stayed, so instead of making myself look like I'm a sulking hobo IRL,
I'm making this post.
Anna was one of my best friends on the planet Earth. We never met in real life, but we've been friends ever since we met on OldCP.


[center~Chapter 1 - The Showdown~][/center]
This is when we first met.
I did a bunch of Pokemon related stuff, and we started doing Pokemon battles using ourselves and not Pokemon.
One battle, I even went as far as to dress up as a pookie and say "A wild Pookie has appeared!"
We even mega evolved ourselves.
[center~Chapter 2 - The Fun~][/center]
All the fun we've had together is unbearably hard to forget.
We've played Minecraft, Pokemon Y, OldCP, and even other CPPS's!
It's hard to let go of her, but it has to happen.
[center~Chapter 3 - The Announcement~][/center]
When I got back from my grandma's house (a few days after) I logged on and noticed she was online. I offered her to play Minecraft, saying we've reunited (because I was at grandma's for 3 days). with a picture of the classic "Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy UNITE!" photo.
She replied saying she died (laughed so hard) at the picture, and then announced to me she was quitting.
[[center~Chapter 4: The End~][/center]
And so it ends. I hate to lose a friendship like this, so let me now if you want to be friends with me.
I'm mainly looking for funny people that like to play Pokemon and Minecraft. I'm not being gender specific, though.
EDIT: She's not gone yet. She MAY quit. I kinda wasted my time makin this, but I'll redo the whole thing once she's gone.

Hey guys!
You may remember me as the random dude that likes the color green that also went inactive for 3 days.
Well, I'm back.
Sorry I didn't get to alert you doods (and doodettz, I spelled that wrong on purpouse)
of my inactivity
I was at my grandma's. With my cousins.
AND IT WAS AWESOME.
Alert of the future: I (might, but hopefully will) get Super Smash Bros. for the 3DS!

Yay! Anyways, I'm done.

Congratulations to all the betas It's a shame I didn't get to test, but I didn't apply lol

Sweet! When I saw the notification that you replied to my post, Skippy, I was like "Oh crap, I'm gonna get chewed out" But, I was wrong I'm lovin this, and the mustache zombie is gonna be my profile picture right.... now. *hits reply button*

Okay. I just want to get this info out of the way before everyone punches me in the face because of my mood:
Skippy's Herobrine pictures are fake.
And I have evidence. Because I'm smart.
#1: I know, that Notch himself tweeted that Herobrine is fake.
#2: Herobrine has no name tag above his head, and in Skippy's most recent pic, what's that? A nametag?
#3: Herobrine does not have his arms out like a zombie. This implies that Herobrine in the pictures are actually just retextured zombies.
#4: In the picture with the nametag, "Herobrine" is standing under a tree. Zombies burn in the daylight, so this must mean Skippy was trying to make "Herobrine" NOT burn.
#5: In the second picture of the bunch (after the nametag pic) she was getting lightning shot at her face. Whew, some humor. Anyways, I know this was fake too. In the first picture, if you look at her hand, you'll notice she's using the Slim Arms player model, implying that she's in 1.8.
#6: In 1.8, there is a command to summon lightning. /summon LightningBolt
End: So yeah. There's my proof. Oh wait!
#7: Zombies can hold equipment, including that Iron Sword.

Thanks for the feedback! I'll bring the next batch soon.

Hello. Today, we will be talking about "types" of people on NewCP. Now, these pictures are actually of MY player card. Every single one. Anyways, all the types are gonna be here.
Type 1: Pookie

Pookies. Everyone knows 'em, right? They're the little yellow dudes that talk like babies.
Pookies are esentially CP's version of little 0-3 year old kiddos. Now, the whole roleplaying thing of pookies is interesting, and so I am gonna make a mini-post in here all about it.
How to Be a Pookie
Step 1: Dress up in outfit shown above
Step 2: Go on popular server and go into pet shop
Step 3: Wait for someone to walk up to you and say a bunch of random stuff and then "I pick you"
Step 4: Go to their igloo
Step 5: Do whatever you want! If your mom says otherwise, who cares? It's roleplay anyways.
Huh. That really WAS a mini-post. Anyways, let's move on.
Type 2: Prep

Ah, yes, the Prep.
So many girls like to do stuff on CP! It's crazy! Boys might even be rare in everything ever on CP.
Anyways, the Prep is simple. They're just young girls that go to places like the CPU. They used to hang out in the Stadium but I can't find 'em anywhere anymore. They also like to talk to that rare thing. Boys.
So yeah, that's the prep. Kinda boring explenation, but I don't have much experience with it.
Blah blah blah ending. TOOOOOOO BEEEEEEEE CCCCCOOOOONNNNTTTTIIIIIINNNNUUUUEEDDDD
Wee, ending. Bai
P.S Other post be made. Woo.

Let it Go - Frozen
Let it Go - Frozen
Let it Go - Frozen
Let it go - Frozen
The other songs I like don't have words, that's my point of putting Let it Go everywhere.

YOU ARE STILL PLAYING MINECRAFT. MINECRAFT IS NO LONGER GOING TO BE A GOOD GAME. YOU ARE NOT EVEN PLAYING MINECRAFT ANYMORE. YOU'RE PLAYING THE MINECROSOFT GAME.
#eliminatemicrosoft

I agree with Iwishlagwas, that is a very good theory.
All you haters need to stop hating

Good remembering, Weend. I'll stuff the Killer Rabbit in there.

Oooh.... I didn't think about that @jacobg.
If any mods are on, can you change my discussion to MC section?