my platform promises if I am elected as emperor:

- Rather than awarding money as prizes in the lottery, the winners would be appointed to the Throne Room.

- Building one nuclear power plant per igloo, including monthly distributions of lead. Indoor lighting would then be provided by radioactive users.

- Men would be allowed to work as wet nurses.

- Eliminate small businesses, and replace them with very small businesses, having less than one employee.

- Instituting illiteracy as OldCP's official language.

- Putting the national debt on someone's Visa.

- Ending crime by abolishing all laws.

- Banning guns and butter, since both kill.

- Changing OldCP's currency to bubble gum, so it could be inflated or deflated at will.

- Providing water from the oceans because they have enough and aren’t sharing

These are all excellent suggestions! You have my full support in this endeavor!

I love this xoxo